Hazards of being an Empath in Love

Sometimes it is hard to be around certain people when you easily pick up their emotions, especially if that person is a significant other. How do you deal with their shit and remain detached when there is an emotional attachment? I find this a very hard thing to deal with... The other night my significant other and I were doing the housework. It has been a big few months, so there was a lot to do. We had a plan of who would do what and set about getting it done. well, he has a tendency to go from zero to Hulk in less than a second when things don't go as smoothly as he expects them to. I am not sure if this is the trait of a ranga, a Leo or just specific to him, but it's there nonetheless... So, as is inevitable when doing housework, things did not go as smoothly as he would like and of course, The Hulk comes out. And then I feel it... It actually hurts me physically and I tend to cower away and want to run and hide in the corner. My adult self know where this comes from, having had an overly aggressive father (Freud would love me!), and I know it has nothing to do with anything I have or haven't done, but still it affects me. I feel it seep into my normally happy, optimistic self and it drains me. I find I unintentionally get sucked into his mood and it wrecks me. He seems to be able to return to normalcy fairly quickly, but it takes me forever... I don't get angry myself, merely sad or frustrated - I haven't been able to pinpoint the exact emotion yet, I just know I feel bad! I feel tired and drained and awful for much longer than he does and sometimes it leaves me sick on the stomach. So, how to deal with it? It is something only I can control - I can't make him stay calm, or look at the real issues underlying his anger, I can only control how I react. This I know... I thought I had it sorted - white light, bubble and send it back with love; remind myself it has nothing to do with me or anything I have done; send love to my inner child and all that - but it seems that I haven't got it as down as I thought. I realise it isn't mine and that it has nothing to do with me, I had that figured out months back, but I still can't seem to detach completely when he does this. I don't have the answers yet, but I do know that the next time it happens I am either going to ask him politely to relocate to another room or do so myself - if I can't work out how to detach from it when in his presence, I will attempt to remove myself physically and see how that goes... Luckily, he is aware of his temper and how it affects me, even if he doesn't understand why or how, and he is willing to compromise! He may not be willing to change it, but he is willing to adjust which is a blessing! I just have to remember it's not mine, it's his and to detach as best I can - it's the only way I think we can survive it!!